Zee Big One

2006 will go down in my history as the year I changed my life. So many changes, brought about after years of contemplating and planning and questioning. This year I jumped in and did it. What ever it was, singing, dancing, moving, loving, I found my creativity courage and my voice and ultimately from that, myself. I gave myself some room and the opportunity to find joy again. I surrendered and Spirit showed me the way. I tell the young women I council that it only gets better, and it really does. I wouldn't go back to my twenties if you bought me a house.... well... no I wouldn't. I have never felt so healthy and satisfied and just so meeee.

I let go of a lot. Some because it weighted me down and kept me in a perpetual flight pattern. Done. Goodbye. Threw them over the bridge and never looked back. Some things killed me, like easy access to the best friends I will ever have, not so easy. I miss them terribly and think about them on a daily /hourly basis. I know they are with me though and will thrive on me being activated. They will always be in my life and I will always hold them close. My job: a mixed bag. There I knew who I was, knew what I knew, was respected, listened to, validated as a competant professional, and loved the people. I am good at my work and had a very comfortable situation. It was ultimately time for a change though. I miss my city too, who I have begun to refer to (thanks to my Jersey Girl Karin) as my dirty mistress. She is a temptress that San Francisco lady, and she will always continue to seduce me. And I will always return to her.

I became really comfortable with the unknown. Something I have never been able to do. Because I raised me, and the rest of my family, I have always had to know. Know what I was doing, where I was going, how I was to pay the rent, where my career was going, what was the next big thing. Never satisfied. Had to be doing something wonderful and prosperous. Plus I am a Virgo and that is definately a psychosis. This year I left the world wide open to the possibilities of what could happen, what should be happening, what Spirit wants for me, as opposed to that stringent sargent like mentality that only the oldest daughter of a family of (recovering) alcholics can have. What has come in it's place is beauty and growth and lessons that I would never have thought possible, and I am so grateful.

I grew solid in my practice, hold tight and fierce to it as ultimately this is what holds and grounds me. I know now what I need to do on a daily basis for me to live in my strength. I see the beauty of this and know it is the glue that binds me. I know this is the twinkle in my eye and the skip in my step. Its a lot of work as is everything good. Yes, yes, I am skipping.

I also know what I want and I need, and ultimately through that, what I don't need. I will be fierce and strong and hold tight to these lessons, I bled for them.

I am ready to step up and step out of my Christie bubble. Yes I admit and know I have been living in there. It is really the first time EVA I have given this to myself. It was necessary. It saved my life. Before I entered I was flatlined. I was grey. I was one dimensional. I was fooling everyone, especially myself. I have always been up in and involved in taking care of others and helping and giving and doing. Yes I sound like a martyr but yes I was doing all of this full time and then some. I am grateful that I know how and what to give and that I have this capacity to do it. It is my gift. And yes I am ready to step back into this role as a care giver big sister social worker therapist friend daughter granddaughter counsin in the most sparklie strong giving gorgeous way in that Spirt uses me. I know how again to keep myself strong and give it away in a strong giving caring way that does not deplete all my good stuff. And if I do, I now have tools to come back to. Check one check two.

And yes, I am very optimistic about 2007. Have some great things lined up. I am ready (again) to really begin (again). I feel solid and grounded and sparklie and healthy. I am ready to give and receive and do and feel and be. I had an interview for my dream job at Cornell University, and I am waiting to hear about that. I have had a few dates with new men and have a few others lined up. I have the best roommate ever in my sister who is funny and chill and generous and compeltely grounding. I have my family within driving distance and completely now feel like a strong participant in my family. I have the best friends in the world and feel completely loved and understood by them. I have a world of opportunity, and I have a world of energy to give back to it. I am grateful. I wish the same for you and hold all of you in my thoughts and prayers daily.

Here's to a beautiful New Year!

My Big Italian Family

Yes I know that you think i am an Irish German Czech Gypsy
but did you know that I am vicariously Italian?
My stepmom is a Sicilian from the Bronx
and my Mom's family married a buncha Italians, so love them
We spend every Christmas day at there house and it is so fun
We have grown up and are very close to our counsins, spending all of our time together like siblings and cannot get enough of eachother
My uncles are incredible as well (with axe in hand tee hee hee, cutting firewood btw) and are complete role models for how men should be, they have set the standards HIGH
and of course there is my darling Gma who is just as beautiful as ever, going into her 84th year
We spend hours and I mean hours opening presents, having to ooooo and ahhh over everything, making funny ridiculous comments about everything, it is so much fun. I am very blessed~* Hope you had a beautiful holiday as well

The Heirloom

My stepmom Marilyn is a very special woman
She had a ring from her grandmother with three diamonds
and really wanted her three daughters to have one
We went to the jewlers over the Thanksgiving holiday
and created this beautiful necklace
it actually looks gold in this picture but it is white gold
just beautiful, love that it will be something we will all have to pass on to our daughters and granddaughters, wow, wild to think about that..

The gorgeous girl on my left is my brother Noells girlfriend, Marilyn got her a necklace as well to make sure she felt included, it was beautiful

merry eve ~*

Had a beautiful time at my parents in Pennsylvania
Love that we can all be together
Merry Christmas!

* Happy ~ Merry*

pictues and stories to follow soon

for now I am gonna go and be all cozy under my new blanket and try to digest all this good stuff ~*

*Winter Solstice*

Sol-stice = sun-stationary,
because the sun rises and sets in the same spot for a few days.
This is the longest night and shortest day of the year,
here in the northern hemisphere.
(The southern hemisphere is celebrating Summer Solstice at the same moment.)
From this day on, the days will get longer.

This phenomenon is a direct result
of the Earth-Sun relationship.
At winter solstice, Sun is at its lowest point:
the longest night, the most profound descent into the dark,
and a subsequent turning of the cycle,
a return to the Light.

Thus a moment of REBIRTH,
return and renewal of the life force are signaled.
Light begins to grow once again.

This is why all cultures on this planet, since long ago,
have celebrated this moment in one way or another.
To safeguard & tend to the sacred fire of Life,
to keep hope alive,
to acknowledge the ever-renewing power of Nature
& and all living things,
to assure the Return of our day star, the Sun.
Thu., Dec. 21, 2006, marks the solstice—the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere and summer in the Southern Hemisphere

reposted - elight.com:
http://www.eilight.com/pages/solsticewinter.htm#intro

Finally someone did what we were all thinking!

I am not a Frosty Hater by any means,
but he had it comin...

For video of the brutal attack, click here:http://video.woodtv.com/index.php?video_id=5038

Two jailed in Frosty attack
BY KIMBALL PERRY | KPERRY@ENQUIRER.COM

COLERAIN TWP. --- Tired of snowman abuse, Matt Williquette decided to go hi-tech.

Williquette, 26, has a 12-foot inflatable snowman in his Crest Road front yard that has been vandalized three times in the last two weeks.

Tired of having Frosty punctured, Williquette bought a digital video recorder and stuck it in a nearby tree.
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He captured video of two men using a screwdriver to punch yet another hole in Frosty. Police used the video to capture them today.

Hamilton County Sheriff’s deputies arrested Robert Snell, of the 2800 block Overdale Drive, Colerain Township, at 11:30 this morning.

Snell was charged with criminal damaging, a second-degree misdemeanor.

Police arrested a second man – Nathaniel Daniels, 18, of the 9000 block of Crusader Drive in Colerain Township, in the afternoon. He also was charged with criminal damaging.

Daniels surrendered to police at 2:45 today. He’s now in the Hamilton County Justice Center.

“I’m very relieved,” said Williquette, a packaging designer for Procter & Gamble.
“People can finally sleep better around here.”

Williquette placed the 12-foot Frosty in his yard as part of his Christmas decorations. He also has in his yard a 6-foot inflatable snow globe, about 30 large candy canes and 4-foot inflatable snowman.

He has no idea why the vandals limited themselves to the largest inflatable decoration.

“The question I have is, 'Why me? And why Frosty?' ” Williquette asked.

“I had more (decorations) to put out there, but with Frosty going down I wasn’t going to chance it.”

Williquette placed white masking tape over the first two punctures to get Frosty inflated again.

Sick of seeing a deflated Frosty, Williquette used a video camera and bought new computer software to set a trap. The camera operated essentially the same as a motion detector, recording when something moved around it

“Me sitting in front of the window every night wasn’t going to get it,” Williquette said.

After he heard a commotion last night and saw Frosty deflated, Williquette called police.

“The investigation continues to snowball; any future developments will be reported,” the sheriff’s office reported.

Snell’s name came to police from a tipster who’d seen the video.

With a bit of luck, Frosty will return to duty tonight.

“I just got to find some black duct tape to patch up his little charcoal area in his stomach and he’ll be back up and running.” Williquette said.

No REALLY, that's the Holiday SPIRIT

There is this phenomenon on the East Coast
That I have wanted to talk about for years~
It's something that for some reason (class, tact, lack of access) Western American people, as far as I can tell, have not been afflicted with
It's the phenomena of showing your holiday spirit
with huge blow up huge latex bundles in the effigy of what ever Holiday Idol you worship
Should it be, the Grinch, Santa on a Harley (with Frosty in tow), or the huge Chanakah Teddy Bear with Dreidel

The best part is that they are blown up by a generator, and during the day they lay flat on the lawns like they are playing dead

One Thanksgiving my Mom and Aunt actually tried to take a knife to the one across the lawn - one of the funniest moments I have ever encountered

My sister and I rolled around hysterically tonight taking all these pictures, I had had to post them for you, totally criminals sneaking onto lawns

The dreidel teddy bear lady caught me, had to let her know her holiday cheer really was incredible, she was so happy, spreading all that holiday spirit

Have you ever seen anything like it?

PS it actually snows inside of the snowglobe, I am not kiddin

Another Perspective....

Reposted from ZwebbyVille

December 19
Cold Blooded...

He was just standing there… doing his job… minding his own business… when the brutal attack occurred. Two youngsters, 18 years old, quietly snuck up on him and stabbed him with a screwdriver.

And this wasn’t the first time, it was the third.

"The question I have is, 'Why me?' And why Frosty?" Matt Williquette asked. "I had more (decorations) to put out there but with Frosty going down, I wasn't going to chance it."

Williquette is the Colerain Township, Ohio homeowner whose 12 foot high inflatable Frosty the Snowman has now been vandalized three times. The difference the third time was that he captured the cold-blooded attack with a motion sensitive video camera set up
in a tree in his yard allowing police to arrest one 18 year old and causing another to turn himself in.

On Monday the Sheriffs Department released a statement saying only that “the investigation continues to snowball.”

The motive for the attack remains unclear. Although it is well known that Frosty has recently been feuding with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer over bragging rights as to who is the most popular Christmas clay animated television show.

This North Pole/South Pole feud has recently heated up when members of both gangs fought in a night club called Kringles. Several elves from either side were injured during this fight. Both Frosty and Rudolph were in attendance that night and, according to eyewitnesses, members of Frosty’s entourage started the fracas when Rudolph made a disparaging remark about Frosty’s girlfriend being too cold.

Since then, the violence has escalated. Jack Frost, leader of the COMET Task Force (Christmas Organized Mob Elimination Team), a task force put together to end the Christmas figures gang wars, is asking that the public forward any information to the task force. “All we know right now,” Frost said in a press release, “is that the two 18 year olds were seen wearing gang symbols.” He was referring to the fake deer antlers and red noses that the two are seen wearing in the video. “Mr. Reindeer is not currently under investigation but he may be asked to come in to answer some questions.” Frost stated in the release.

A friend of Frosty’s, who asked to remain anonymous, told this reporter, “We know exactly who was behind this! And if he thinks we’re gonna just stand back and let him play his little reindeer games, he is sadly mistaken!”

While Santa Claus, undeniably the head of the Christmas Figure Family, has not yet publicly commented on the attack, Tiny Tim, Director of Public Relations for the North Pole Press Office released the following statement, “Santa is deeply disturbed by the recent turn of events between Mr. Snowman and Mr. Reindeer and, as soon as Mr. Snowman is able, Santa will be calling a meeting between the two to see if an agreement can be reached.”

Frosty remains in critical condition in the Icy-U after being patched up with some masking tape but is expected to make a full recovery by Christmas.

Just One More

Looks like someone had too much Egg Nogg at the Holiday Party...

More Holidaze courtesy of Jersey

Oh New Jerusalum, how you worship

These are too good I just had to share


The middle three are all part of the same house
and the lights are synchronized...

Oh Jersey

New Moon December

New Moon Intentions
for December


To study my ass off so I can get my license quick and move on with my plans
To not distract myself with people places and things that are not serving me anymore
To continue to be strong in my practice
To spend more time connecting with my family and friends and those I love
To leave my heart open and my mind wise to those who wish to be around me
To be open and serve the Universe in the ways I am gifted to be able to
To continue to believe that I can have everything I desire and to set my goals and actions as such
To be still and thoughtful to the messages I need to receive

Guess you got what you were looking for then...

Ice Festival in Fairbanks, Alaska

Begin Again

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person
that wasn't supposed
to ever let you down probably will. You will have
your heart broken
probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break
hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was
broken. You'll
fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new
love for things an
old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too
fast, and you'll
eventually lose someone you love. So take too many
pictures, laugh
too much, and love like you've never been hurt
because every sixty
seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness
you'll never get
back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid
that it will never begin.

~anonymous~

"Goddesses Who Shine Like The Sun"

This is a repost from a newsletter site I am a member of, from a woman I met while at Omega this summer. Momma Donna is facinating and full of knowledge, a very powerful teacher. She leads a lot of rituals in New York and is regarded as strong healer.
And as we are honoring Santa Lucia I would like to honor my little light Lucia, who is just adorable and shining on!


The week leading up to the Winter Solstice is the darkest of the year. True, the week following the solstice is just as dark, but the energy is different. After the solstice, the dark gets a tiny bit lighter each day as the world as we know it on the Northern Hemisphere turns toward spring. But now, pre-solstice, we are spinning further and further into the dark. December 13 is the winter solstice on the old Julian calendar. So it is no wonder that this is the time when we honor two sun goddesses: Our Lady of Guadalupe and Santa Lucia. December 12 is the feast day of the Mexican Guadalupe who is now designated the patron saint of the Americas by the Catholic Church. But Her reign predates the Hispanic takeover of Mexico. Called ‘La Virgen Indigena,’ She was once -- and still is to Her many millions of worshippers -- Tonantzin, ’Our Lady’ the great mother goddess identified with the moon, a principal household deity worshipped by the Mexica and other tribes of Mesoamerica. Her image is always encased in a halo of sunburst sunrays, making Her a Solstice Queen. Santa Lucia, 'Saint Light,' is often called the Queen of Lights. Lucia symbolizes light and growth as She emerges out of the darkness. Her feast day on December 13 is celebrated as a Festival of Lights. Many of the ancient light and fire customs of the Yuletide became associated with Her day. Thus we find ‘Lucy candles’ lighted in the homes and ‘Lucy fires’ burned in the outdoors. For the people of Sweden and Norway, She is the great ‘light saint’ who turns the tide of their long winter and brings the renewed light of the day. May the combined glow emanating from Our Ladies Guadalupe and Lucia, solstice harbingers that they are, light our way through the dark this week. May their bright visages uplift us until the solstice when the sun will once again turn Her shining face toward us and grace us with her light. With blessings of hope and enlightenment, xxMama Donna Mama Donna's Tea Garden & Healing Haven PO Box ' Exotic Brooklyn, New York, NY 11238-0403 Phone: 718/857-1343 Email: CityShaman@aol.com www.DonnaHenes.net www.MamaDonnasSpiritShop.com/ www.TheQueenofMySelf.com

Sunday Dinner and a good long rant...

(WARNING: this is a very long Blawg post, proceed with caution)

For most of my life I have been fantasizing about being able to just have dinner with my family on Sunday nights. Maybe it's because of how I was raised, my vicarious Italian genes, but it just makes sence to me to start off and end the week like this. My sister and I have been making this happen, and it is just the best.My Mom has been coming over, cooking for us, spending the night which is super fun. Been hanging out a lot with my awsome brother Mike and his g-friend Noelle who is just a hoot. I love her no-bullshit approach on things, she reminds me of me actually when I was her age.Spending a lot of time with Presley, walking him a bunch and just chilin. He is the best chiller ever! Saw " Bobby" with Mike and Noelle the other night~ I actually really liked it. Go Emilio Estevez, good come back. It made me sad at some points, just the way that they believed in him and thought they had found a "leader". The way they looked at him and believed in him. The hopefullness of having someone that perhaps represented what they needed. Not only do we not have this in this clown who is our alleged President, but he has actually proven how dangerous this administration could be. I can't even get into that now, thats a whole other post. Anyway, go see it if you have a chance... tons of actors in it which I usually don't endorse but it is entertaining at the least.

So whats going on, what am I up to many peeps have asked. Right now basically I am buckling down looking for a job, in NYC or Jersey really, and studying for my exam, my Social Work Boards. Have had an interview which went really well and have one coming up. The problem is this: apparently I am not able to work in NY or Jersey without my Social Work license. This sucks. Big time. For those not in the know I have my Masters in Social Welfare (MSW) and all of my clinical hours (3600 clinically supervised hours providing therapy) and I am just about licensed. I just have to take this blasted frikin test which is like the Bar Exam for Social Workers. It is awful and a pain in the ass and really hard to pass, not intuitive at all. Not only that but each state required that I become licensed in their state, which required contacting every supervisor I have been supervised by, having them fill out pages of paperwork, have it notorized, and sent to the state. This doesn't sound hard, but it is such a beauracratic nightmare you have no idea. I just did this for the State of NY and you cannot imagine me dragging my nearly crippled 400 lbs supervisor to the mailbox place to notorize the paperwork, cause otherwise it would not have been done.
Anyway I know I am bitching but not being able to work is making me a bit crazy. That I could be sanctioned by the Board if I do is crazy too. It's all just a friking scam to make money because with each piece of paperwork it's hundreds of dollars to file. Get my drift???????? I Just wanna be a frikin Social Worker, why is that so fuckin hard?

So I spend a lot of time calling all these places trying to figure out the law and get a different answer from everyone.I have been doing a lot of yoga and I walk a lot, keeping up my practice so that I can retain some of my sanity, which I really enjoy. Walking around my sisters neighborhood is interesting. It's super cute with large beautiful houses with some streets of more working class houses. I have hated what this area represents for years, filthy wealth and materialism, consumerism. But I am finding that my contencious 17 year old angst about this area also has a lot of positives as well, such as a place for kids to play, lots of places of worship, and parking spaces! Ha, so silly. I found a golf course which I cannot believe is my refuge away from the SUV's and BMW's which threaten my existance on the back roads. Hate golf course's but at least I can pretend.. ooooh pretty trees! Miss trees. Miss Omega. I saw a deer with antlers the other day with has been a big theme in my life the past week. Read an atricle that some assholes are poaching them for their horns and got really really upset.

So yes for the most part I have been super postive and optimistic about this new path I am on. Feels good to be a bit settled, have a bed room thankfully as my Sister frikin rocks and is letting me be live in her gorgeous comfortable apartment rent free. I am the house bitch, clean cook and do errands which I am happy to contribute. Its actually a lot of fun. We get along so well, have our own language, enjoy the same things. And when we don't it's no biggee. Which is why I call her "Breezy", cause for the most part she really is. I love spending this time with her. She is embarking on some major changes as well (hello Saturn Return) and it is important that I am here with her, at least she believes this too.

So I am plugging along, think I will switch strategies this week and maybe get a stupid job just doing something to help pay the rent, and just study my arse off and just take it from there. One month at a time, don't need to plan the rest of my life right now, right? Missing my friends terribly, and some of my freedom. Not being able to jump on a plane to go to Sundance with Rachel or Costa Rica with Helema is a drag, as my previous life would have allowed me such luxuries. But I know right now I am preparing for the long haul, the next step, and have been talking about what I am actually doing right now is exactly what I should be doing, for now. I am also clear that I have consciously chose this, this is a choice, this is my choice, to continue to create a foundation for the life that I want to be living. I truly know how blessed I am that I have family and that I want to be with them, and that I have this time to study for a career that I know I am right for that I believe in.Truly I know this, truly I do.

Friday Night

I just love being able to jump in the car and end up in the city in less than an hour. Met Toni over Karina mamma's for a little Friday Night dinner. TT is visiting for some bizness with Ari who joined us later. Real fun to play with them on this coast. Hung out with my friend Jett who was all too cute (cannot believe I didn't get any pictures in her awsome jumper outfit...) had some fun bath time, some unbelievably adorable Syrus time, Karina time, then off to meet Miss Sarah for drinks at a place called Circus. Lots of clowns (ukkk) and peanuts on the floor, but it was the first bar we could find as it has been absolutely frikin freezing out. Poor Toni is not used to this weather and was unbelievably chilled. Good excuse to use cabs though! Great to see Sarah who is in Jersey City now with Miles, will be seeing lotsa them. Had a nice ride home with my sister who went in with me to have dinner with her friends, just a really nice night.

Words Escape Me....

"I thought often of a friend of mine who lives on another coast.

Again. XOXT"

(thats me, thats me, te he he, how honored am I? That I was in the thoughts around creating this piece of magic thrills me)

Matthew, sigh...

So talented, Scary Brilliant, So Sexy
He completed this mural in four days
He is one of my few friends that is actually a "working" artist
I am so thrilled he has work that allows him to be as talented as he is
He is so versatile in his practice
His work makes me excited, afraid, turned on, there really arn't any words for it
I just sit and stare and let his work take hold of me
When I visited him he gave me a few pieces that I cherish
I try to give him feedback about it, but just end up gaping with my mouth hanging open
You know you've impressed me when I am without words...
So I'll let you sit and stare
and won't bother with them
because when it comes to him,
words escape me..

Here Comes Trouble!

Ok so Moss and I have always been compatible companions. He was one of my bestest buds in SF and we moved to NY around the same time, which for both of us was so great not to have to describe to someone what a HUGE transition it is and all of the emotional and logistical upheaval that is involved in a bi-coastal transition. He just gets it. So right now in NYC he has a hot job, a hot apartment (with an amazing roomate who bakes bread amoung other novelties...) and a hot man! I am so so excited for him and know that it was such a great choice for him. Ok but there's one thing. Moss+Christie=TROUBLE. Karina calls it "The Show". Us in San Francisco was dabauchery, but Us in NYC is cataclysmic. Add one Dina (Karina's amazing crazy sister) into the mix and I am really afraid... very afraid. And looking forward to every minute of it. Lets just say the Friday night ended at the break of dawn with many moments in between that are not appropriate for public posting. Spent the day in bed nursing my hangover and Breezy (my sister Susanne) came into town for some fun. Put my best pretty sauce over my terribly hung over self and went to dinner with Moss and Charlie, then over to Alex Grey's Chapel of Sacred Mirrors Cosm Fire Full Moon party, finally. Have been wanting to get there for months and enjoyed the last hour and finally dragged my ass under the tunnel home...