Sunday Dinner and a good long rant...

(WARNING: this is a very long Blawg post, proceed with caution)

For most of my life I have been fantasizing about being able to just have dinner with my family on Sunday nights. Maybe it's because of how I was raised, my vicarious Italian genes, but it just makes sence to me to start off and end the week like this. My sister and I have been making this happen, and it is just the best.My Mom has been coming over, cooking for us, spending the night which is super fun. Been hanging out a lot with my awsome brother Mike and his g-friend Noelle who is just a hoot. I love her no-bullshit approach on things, she reminds me of me actually when I was her age.Spending a lot of time with Presley, walking him a bunch and just chilin. He is the best chiller ever! Saw " Bobby" with Mike and Noelle the other night~ I actually really liked it. Go Emilio Estevez, good come back. It made me sad at some points, just the way that they believed in him and thought they had found a "leader". The way they looked at him and believed in him. The hopefullness of having someone that perhaps represented what they needed. Not only do we not have this in this clown who is our alleged President, but he has actually proven how dangerous this administration could be. I can't even get into that now, thats a whole other post. Anyway, go see it if you have a chance... tons of actors in it which I usually don't endorse but it is entertaining at the least.

So whats going on, what am I up to many peeps have asked. Right now basically I am buckling down looking for a job, in NYC or Jersey really, and studying for my exam, my Social Work Boards. Have had an interview which went really well and have one coming up. The problem is this: apparently I am not able to work in NY or Jersey without my Social Work license. This sucks. Big time. For those not in the know I have my Masters in Social Welfare (MSW) and all of my clinical hours (3600 clinically supervised hours providing therapy) and I am just about licensed. I just have to take this blasted frikin test which is like the Bar Exam for Social Workers. It is awful and a pain in the ass and really hard to pass, not intuitive at all. Not only that but each state required that I become licensed in their state, which required contacting every supervisor I have been supervised by, having them fill out pages of paperwork, have it notorized, and sent to the state. This doesn't sound hard, but it is such a beauracratic nightmare you have no idea. I just did this for the State of NY and you cannot imagine me dragging my nearly crippled 400 lbs supervisor to the mailbox place to notorize the paperwork, cause otherwise it would not have been done.
Anyway I know I am bitching but not being able to work is making me a bit crazy. That I could be sanctioned by the Board if I do is crazy too. It's all just a friking scam to make money because with each piece of paperwork it's hundreds of dollars to file. Get my drift???????? I Just wanna be a frikin Social Worker, why is that so fuckin hard?

So I spend a lot of time calling all these places trying to figure out the law and get a different answer from everyone.I have been doing a lot of yoga and I walk a lot, keeping up my practice so that I can retain some of my sanity, which I really enjoy. Walking around my sisters neighborhood is interesting. It's super cute with large beautiful houses with some streets of more working class houses. I have hated what this area represents for years, filthy wealth and materialism, consumerism. But I am finding that my contencious 17 year old angst about this area also has a lot of positives as well, such as a place for kids to play, lots of places of worship, and parking spaces! Ha, so silly. I found a golf course which I cannot believe is my refuge away from the SUV's and BMW's which threaten my existance on the back roads. Hate golf course's but at least I can pretend.. ooooh pretty trees! Miss trees. Miss Omega. I saw a deer with antlers the other day with has been a big theme in my life the past week. Read an atricle that some assholes are poaching them for their horns and got really really upset.

So yes for the most part I have been super postive and optimistic about this new path I am on. Feels good to be a bit settled, have a bed room thankfully as my Sister frikin rocks and is letting me be live in her gorgeous comfortable apartment rent free. I am the house bitch, clean cook and do errands which I am happy to contribute. Its actually a lot of fun. We get along so well, have our own language, enjoy the same things. And when we don't it's no biggee. Which is why I call her "Breezy", cause for the most part she really is. I love spending this time with her. She is embarking on some major changes as well (hello Saturn Return) and it is important that I am here with her, at least she believes this too.

So I am plugging along, think I will switch strategies this week and maybe get a stupid job just doing something to help pay the rent, and just study my arse off and just take it from there. One month at a time, don't need to plan the rest of my life right now, right? Missing my friends terribly, and some of my freedom. Not being able to jump on a plane to go to Sundance with Rachel or Costa Rica with Helema is a drag, as my previous life would have allowed me such luxuries. But I know right now I am preparing for the long haul, the next step, and have been talking about what I am actually doing right now is exactly what I should be doing, for now. I am also clear that I have consciously chose this, this is a choice, this is my choice, to continue to create a foundation for the life that I want to be living. I truly know how blessed I am that I have family and that I want to be with them, and that I have this time to study for a career that I know I am right for that I believe in.Truly I know this, truly I do.