Friday, November 30, 2007

Joy


Contemplating Joy
You hear so much about it lately
Especially with the holiday season upon us

It's different than happiness
Happiness is so vast, so transitional
Joy permeates
Joy, is

I've seen Joy in all sorts of situations
from the ghettos to the mountaintops
from people who struggle hard and children who don't know any better
what does it take to have Joy? How does this happen
I know people who have it
some it comes easier than others
and its not just in those who have "everything" they are supposed to have

So things come quickly these days
I was thinking about this a lot
when "BAM"
I ride down through the town of my work
and all along the main road of the cutie town I work in
they have decorated for the holidays
"JOY" banners, lining the road with candles
I had to laugh
thank you universe
you continue to give me the cosmic giggle
so in tribute to your constant sense of humor
here are my thoughts:

Joy
is a decision
Joy
is a choice
Joy
is believing in not sinking into the harder things that inundate us daily hourly weekly
Joy is watching the birds right outside your window feed in a dance of delicacy and fairness
Joy is hearing that your good friend is pregnant
and having baby spirits visit you in your dreams
Joy
is DECIDING to not be upset that they screwed up your paycheck
Joy is falling in love with each and every child and family that walks through my doors and decides that they have the strength and courage to find out what they can do to make things right
Joy is riding up the mountain on my way home and walking through the doors to find that my love has made me dinner complete with candles lit
Joy is a choice not to be pissed off complacent or bored
Joy is an opportunity to thrive and live
by doing what ever you possibly can to give and receive and be and love
Joy is now

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Thanks Givin

Hosted Thanksgiving at our house this year. It was great to finally be able to have people to our house, and prepare food and give lots of thanks. It was cozy and we kept the fireplace going the whole time, lots of hiking and relaxing and cuddling with Presely.
My Mom got us this fantastic bird feeder that brings all the birds to us right outside our window. Talk about constant entertainment!


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

In Gratitude






In Gratitude for my beautiful Man Scott my amazing family and the best friends ever work that I love my strong and my resilient body my clear vision my strong sense of fairness instincts the smell of burning wood the deer who eat in my yard raw food my car fuzzy blankets Bearsville good movies red wine dark chocolate nice carpets my computer being in love art the vivid dreams I have been having phone service my own office clarity of mind to study peace quiet colorful woods music smelly candles safety when I drive music squirrels coconut cocoa smoothies having dinner made for me making dinner for him being in driving distance to my family having washer and a dryer nice lighting peace omega not watching the news too much radio woodstock love love love and love!

What are you Grateful For? Happy Thanks Giving!
And yes, Happy Birthday Sue!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Too Marveous For Words

See the mountains in the background, and the smoke comin out the chinmey?
I took these pictures after foraging for wood in our forest
Our back yard, these are storage sheds, the size of a large studio on San Francisco
Our back door
Deer,
in our front yard
its snowed here already
Twice!

To0 Marvelous for Words...
Thanks Frank (Sinatra)
Sitting here, listening to his "Romance" album
sipping red wine in front of my wood burning stove
feeling warm and swoony
while my sweetie makes us more raw goodies
feeling as if I want to express all of this
and again, at a loss for words
life is good

What I will tell you is that I am hosting my family
here in our new home for Thanksgiving
a big deal-io
as living on the West Coast for twelve years
always been a guest
Now, I am the host
Looking forward to cooking and preparing
and having not to travel on a holiday
wow have things changed

I will tell you that I started my new job this week
So glad to get back to this
Miss it miss it
Had my first clients already
sweeties, some strong situations
nothing like the gang war foster care gun shot wound my cousin did this weekend from a gun shot would of yesteryear that was my "daily grind" (sigh)....

So yea, things are good
its work living in the woods
with composting and
with wood and oil and having to find someone
to shovel the drive for the big storms
driving up the mountains
but hell, is it fun!
Have no computer access at work
but will try and keep this updated
as much as I can

It's quiet here
I like it
so beautiful, the deer using our yard to feast in
getting our life patterns on
coming home, driving up the mountain
I live in the Catskills
In a valley in the middle of two mountains
its beautiful
Here are some pictures for you
More of the inside to come soon

How are you? Tell me your stories...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Miss Rashada


My old Social Work Supervisor SuperStar
Miss Rashada
passed away
I found out just recently
I am so mourning her, so feeling her
I found out on All Souls Day

Ovarian Cancer
She was a good friend
And incredible woman
Completely deliciously inappropriate
(I'll tell you sometime on how she used to hit on EVERYONE , especially visiting psychiatrists and would FREAK them out, sexual harassment laws be damned...)
She defied all stereotypes, a converted Muslim liberal African American daughter of gynecologists
She had crazy hair
and crazy outfits
and always was late
and said what people wanted too but couldn't
She worked in her community
as a social worker for hundreds of kids
A big warm hug
and a momma when they needed it most
I love you Miss Rashada
Many called you many names
Jungle Bird Auntie Ra Ra
you were my Miss Rashada
and we met every Wednesday for three years
and were one of my best friends
You said I was the blackest white girl you ever knew
and was one of your children
you helped so many
just by being you
and you were so incredibly you
I love you and miss you
You are now one of My Angels
Thanks for all your love

Monday, November 05, 2007

Go Sue Go!

My sister
hanging out on the edge of the world~*

If you are not on the edge,
you are taking up too much space
(a wise one once said)

this picture made me weep with love
and excitement
and anticipation

I love how it is all unfolding
I can't wait to see whats next
I am so proud of us
for manifesting and living out
our dreams

i unpacked our kitchen stuff today
and you are all over my home here
including the "Cornell" mug
(that bloody thing, yes)
isn't it lovely how
we really
really
get what we need
shine on sister sue ~*

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Ready To Right










I am writing to you from my new "sun room" in our cozy cottage near Woodstock New York, facing the mountains and glorious colors of Autumn. It is Dia De Los Muertos and I am feeling the thin veil of the worlds ascend as I am alone in the woods with only the mice and chipmunks who inhabit my cottage. Scott is away in sunny Florida working for the yoga conference for Omega and this week is the longest we will be apart in our time together. This is the first time in what feels like a whirlwind of a year that I am, alone. And I choose to share it with you, as I have been, away. Where I have been is in creating this moment right now. See, I really do believe you create what you want, what you need, your joy and hearts desire. I am living proof of this.

Five , maybe six or years ago, I layed in an old lovers bed and dreamed this moment right now. I was running a Transitional Living program for homeless youth that was intrinsically imploding, feeling exhausted by the city congestion and grief and trauma that I held space for on an hourly basis. Feeling empty in this relationship, with no connection to the divine but rather with body and earthly pleasured, I yearned for more. I had so much, but I knew to feel fulfilled I needed it deeper. Somehow, I created a vision of a simple, healthy, life in upstate New York in a cabin with my love and maybe a dog... this is what I wanted, needed, was called to. I envisioned this very scene I stare out into right now. Close to my birth land, in the colors, in a love with the Divine deeper than any love I had known before, in true appreciation and gratitude for every leaf, every breeze, every color and scent of the good earth. And I knew too, that he was here. I needed to come and collect him, my man, my love.

So here I am, a long and windy road but I am here. Moved in two days ago. Left Omega land, was ready, it was right. It gave Scott and I time to collect ourselves, clean out, dig in, connect to our creator and ourselves and each other. Gave us the space to envision the world we want to create, together. And here it is, we are living in it, thank you great Creator.

Manifested great jobs... he at Omega continuing with his work and beginning a recording studio out of one of our three bedrooms. We live at the end of a dirt road near Woodstock NY with a wood burning stove and 600 acres of land behind us. We are renting from a fantastic couple that is the vision of what we will probably be in 20 years, these beaming healthy living beings who are writers and are going to Florida for the winter (how East Coast of them : ) ). I am starting to work in counseling center near here working with children and families, and will be getting my license by December , yikes and wow. We have everything we need down the street,post office, cafe, a famous theater, yoga studio, health food store. And yet we are in quiet, beautiful woods . Scott did all the work to find it, which is really beyond me. It says a lot when I can trust someone to find something as precious to me as my home. Thank you baby for taking care of us.

So yes, now that I don't have to share phones and three computers with 500 people, now that I don't have to steal phone calls and find time to connect between my harried work schedule and trying to find a job and home without any communication devices, I think I may stop by the jolliejunket more often. I am very thankful to my family and friends who have understood that this time was necessary to make these huge strides towards our future, despite my communication lapses. I hope they know I am always thinking of them, loving them. I am so looking forward to having the phone and computer again, as I miss all terribly.

Till then my dolls, I hope you are amazing and living your dreams as well..

(here are some pics of our end of season and party, 1977 theme...)