The Hormonal Hostage
I dedicate this postOh yes the full moon is back again
My soon~ to~ be~diaganosable ~state; a disorder for sure
(this of course is total bullshit but seems ok for right now)
Which makes my stomach bloat and my mind create chaos
Emotional ~pissed off~ and totally punchy
So I offer you this, sums it up great right now
It was send to me by a friend today, I usually don't get off on this kinda stuff
But it seemed * oh so appropriate *
For those daze, when nothing is fine
when the wrong exboyfriend calls you
when you continue to break your diet
when you turn off the phone turn off the lights turn off the brain
and heat up the hot water bottle... cheers!
Brilliant:
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the
month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and
he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a
handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend,
or significant other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff........
And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
posted by Scott and Christie @ 6:15 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Hi honey: that's fucking hilarious. Gotta send it to the current BF. How are you? Tried calling you a couple of times yesterday but realized now you didn't have your phone ;). Am leaving for NCY Thursday morning, would love to see you Wednesday. Thinking of having the girls over, you available? Let me know.
I actually slept with a hot water bottle last night! i feel you girl!
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