Happy New Year

Rosh Hashanah
Ramadan
New Moon in Virgo
First Day of Libra
Annual Lunar Eclipse

New Year
Big Day
Big revelations
Big Big Big
Ouchy change the course of your life oh shit what have I been doing where have I been where am I going is this right then please Great Creator show me your way....

Had a huge reality check last night
Radical Honesty
No longer will I deny what I need
what my true desires are
in fear
or to appease others
or to not get what I need
or what I want
or what I think the plan is for myself
Because of my commitment to myself, I will post this here, as scary as this is
This is a part of a l letter to my friend
with whom I have learned a lot with
and from

I am understanding that I have a history of not asking for what I need from others, and there is lots attached to that , family, friends, lovers. I think whats been happening is that for some reason I have made an agreement with myself somewhere that it is ok that I haven't gotten what I needed, a false belief that I can give myself everything I need, and fear around asking for what it is that I really want. Why? Rejection, fear of not getting it, probably fear of getting it, not getting it anyway, not being able to depend on others, contentment with pretending it is all ok... i could go on....



So
Honesty reveals itself in scary and painful ways
I am reeling in this pain

and so so thankful for it's message

Always, Christiane