Integrated

Dig if you will, the picture: I am all set to take the juice fast. Yes, yes I know, that it is not the time of the year to cleanse or fast, I am supposed to actually start eating more cause I am an animal and it is becoming winter and all that. What I wanted to do was celebrate my body, really find a ritualistic way to commit to this new regimine I am on. So .... all set. Signed sealed and paid for. Yes I know that the woman who is putting it on is a nasty beotch... yes I know that -I already ordered the enemas and the bed pads (nevermind).. but she wasn't going to distract me, so why wasn't this feeling right? Driving around, all bitter that I can't go to CommonFire's reception that I have been looking forward to, I want to go see Julia B. and play and get outta here. Just had the most amazing morning watching Marianne Williamson, why am I feeling so cranky? Then it hits me: bam whoosh slam. I am not supposed to fast. I am supposed to nuture. Fasting is not feeling very nourishing, nor is the sick woman leading the workshop. The very workshop I am bitching about having to drive into town to buy 75$ worth of candles for, this is where I am supposed to be.... half hour before the workshop. Thank you intuition. Thank you divine messages.

I knew nothing about Ken Wilber, or his Integral Institute. Basically, (thank you wikipedia): "is an American writer who has advanced an integral theory of consciousness which draws on psychology, sociology, philosophy, mysticism, postmodernism, empirical science and systems theory to form a picture of what he calls the 'Kosmos'
A self-described storyteller and mapmaker, Wilber attempts to integrate various perspectives of the cosmos. Although he was at one time a major proponent of the transpersonal school of psychology, he has since disassociated himself from it. In 1998, Wilber founded the Integral Institute, a think tank for studying issues of science and society in an integral, or non-reductive, way. He has been a pioneer in the development of Integral psychology and Integral politics. He is a practicing Buddhist, and the beliefs of Madhyamika Buddhism, "

Ok so that was a good start. I will be continuing to research his work as it facinates me in that it speaks my language. We can't just have this one size fits all mentality, religion, philosphy. Surely, I believe, they are all relevant in some way, no?

What I did know is that I was looking for strong female warrior role models, and the juice beotch and her enema's was just not doing it for me. Watching these three women leading these workshops was like observing angels in motion. The best way to begin to explain this unexplainable other worldly week is to bastardize the excerpt from the catalog: The Women's Integral Life Practice will focus on developing a set of daily practice tools , engaging you intellectually, physically, emotionally, interpersonally, spiritually though group process and experiemental learning activities anchored by theoretical discussion in the following modules: Meditation & contemplation, yoga, movement, music and the sacret feminine arts, the care & nourishment of the body, feelings moods & emotions, relating to others, authentic self expression and creativity and aesthetic practice.

I don't know how it didn' t slam me over the head before. This is just what I have been needing. A container. A way to put it all together. Guidance in the very thing I have needed for so long, One of my biggest goals this summer/fall, the reason why I have done all of this, was to cultivate my practice. What they offered me was thee biggest gift my heart has been praying for. A way to put it all together. And wow did they deliver.

The three teachers all complimented each other so sacredly. Diane held the space of our fearless leader, her skills in mediation and conflict resolution are extrordinary. So peaceful and elegant yet rough and wow, just outta control. Willow is a musician pshyotherapist intellectual chic who is Ken Wilber's fiercest student, and Sophia. Oh Sophia. Wow. Lets just say any woman strong enough to be with David Deida is all I need to know....Hatha yoga and sacred movement teacher, just a power house of a woman who helped us get into our bodies so incredibly and so real with such a fierce dicipline and fierce love.

We went to places we were all afraid to go. We all came together as strangers and left as sisters. We dance, cried, prayed, celebrated, entered into ritual, and created an imprint on this intagible world of the sacred. Manifested our strength, called out and burned away our inadequacies, owned our questioning hearts, acknowledged each other as goddess, as mother, as sister, fellow seeker. Big Mind Big Heart. Big Love.