What It Is.......

If I were to approach this like a school book report, here is the attempt at trying to translate into words :
What I did this summer ( and fall)

Now anyone who is there knows it's like attempting to explain, what... art? Music? Sex? It doesn't translate into words, I know I keep saying this but it's true. Here is my attempt to share what it is:
First of all, take a look at where I have been:
http://trailer34.com/galleries/potd/main.php?g2_itemId=3903

Outta the Woods. Spent the past few days with my family, catching up, and repacking for my trip to San Francisco. Heading back for a few weeks to vote (!!!!), to hug my friends andto find out what my loves are up to. I have a new niece (Tesla) and nephew (Edan) since I last left, and two engagements (T & A and Dan and Sarah) to hear about. Can’t wait to see my West Coast Familia.

Been wanting to write this for a while, and I am warning you, this is long Blawggity blawg entry, so if you don’t know me or love me you might not want to go on. It is mostly for me to remember in the dead of winter when I am freezing and studying for my bloody Licensing exam, that yes, I did have an amazing past four months. Haven’t wanted to write this cause then it means that yes it is over, and I am not in Kansas anymore. I know this more than anything right now as I am in a food court of the Chicago O’Hare airport, with blaring screens and McDonalds wafting through the air. I hold tight to my Chai and Lara Bar and write the following:

What I did this Summer (and fall)

Met some amazing friends, even though I swear I thought I was all set, I have my friend quota. So amazing, you have touched me very deeply and I am so excited to continue to know you. You know who you are.

Was involved in a very male office, in a very physical role . I loved it. I loved those men. Treated me like a sister, one of the boys sometimes, and always respected my strong woman presence. Needed it and invited it in fact. You were all so respectful and honored when I set the altar. Thank you. I so enjoyed being there. Worked harder that you can imagine. Rolling around on the golf cart, calling you up on the walkie talkie. Mind numbing tasks in which I rocked out to my music. Delivering singing bowls and candles to the likes of Deepak Chopra and Sharon Salzberg. Whatchya need, sage? Markers? I am your gal…a beautiful departure from work life being full of gang warfare and de-escalation from suicidal/homicidal gestures. Yes please!

Dove very deeply and passionately in love with my Creator/Creatrix = call it what you will I call it God. Had daily if not hourly conversations , being thankful everytime I saw a butterfly dance or a field of grass or fireflies. Yes I sound like a fucking hippie (I eat them in my rice milk by the way) but so would you if you had just been where I was.Seriously a wonderland, an organsmic feast of aesthetics, the presence of creation all around me. A stillness, a wonderment. A deep and loving contant state of prayer and gratefulness thoughout my high highs and low lows. Felt it throughout my cells which expanded and contracted and then finally became set in a container of a practice that I could call my own. I am forever grateful for this guidance, gift, and opporutunity. Oho.

Became very directed in my physical practice, which is one of the things I have been really praying for. Walked around 3.5 miles a day, dove back into my yoga practice, did a five week tai chi intensive (which I hated but did anyway because I thought it would be good for my head… listen to your instincts) Kayaking, belly dance, dance dance danced every week at least, walked around campus a bijillion times a day which is a huge place, became friends with the horses and cows and camels along my beloved lake walk, my daily salvation…Lost 25lbs. One of the most amazing things about this was the grief I was holding in my body. Even when I did the massage, the body work, the energy work, I could hear the names of my clients leaving my body. Good bye and peace to you. It’s amazing what we hold on to. I also learned I was allergic to wheat, something that I had suspected already. What upsets me about this is that I have always eaten very well, but because of an allergy (ok and a bad break up and quitting smoking…) I held onto this weight… I am glad it has gone and I am so committed to my body as a temple.

Where do I begin with the amazing people I came to contact with. Having a talk with a friend and Jack Kornfield walks by. Being the time keeper for Marianne Williamson’s key note address ( she claimed I rushed her with my five minute sign, I say I did what I was told to do. Still amazing she is) . Lynn Greenburg drawing on the right hand sign of the brain lady, helped her smoke in places she wasn’t supposed to (yes I am an enabler), Painted with my idol Debra Koff Chapin, weekly classes with Nobel Peace Prize winners or Yogi Masters or accomplished artists or psychics or trampoline masters. Margot Anand, Krishna Dass, Elizabeth Harper, Elizbeth Lesser, Carolyn Myss, Yolanda Scott King, David Deida, Alex and Allison Grey, Sophia Diaz, talked to Ken Wilber on the phone, the list goes on and on. Especially to my Omega Teachers Cheryl, Annie, Wynn, Matt, Brett, Monica, Julia (and on and on), you offered your classes up to us and I am so so grateful to you. Todays contemporary healers and artists, it was beyond beyond. I am not starstuck as much as I am empowered to continue not to play small and step up to my role in this universe. Thank you for your guidance .

I did a lot of work around my intimate relationships. Discovered that somewhere I made an agreement with myself that for what ever the reasons, I don’t deserve/will not accept, acknowledge, or attain what I truly desire and need. I also terribly need to be needed. This is part of my excuse the jargon *codependant enabler behavior* . This leads me to be a junkie for men that are unavailable to me. I fell hard and got my ass handed to me by this last run in this summer with a dear friend- a hard fall but truly maybe what I needed to REALLY get it. It hurt that bad (for both us ) and our friendship was amazing, and it is one of my best teachers in what I need to do next. Most importantly, what not to do.Thank you.

Ok what else, skinny dipping and swimming through tons of seaweed drunk on the heat, sleeping outside for seven weeks thank you very much, nightly sauna, the garden, hillhouse, fireflies, Kirtan, singing singing singing, fires, the lake, Rhinebeck, the big salad, the list goes on and on and on. I did what I went there to do, and leave so incredibly full and grateful.

Big big love~ Christiane