The State of My Union

I tried, I really did
but I cannot watch that man on television. My stomach churns. Wipe that smurk off your face. He is lying, even the Republicans are getting on board. Duh. I struggle with this all the time. Know your enemy. I think I need to know what is happening. I can't do it. I haven't watched the news since he was "re-elected", why start now? I'll read all about it in the Times tommorrow- of all the tales he told. As much as I can stomach anyhow. I was able to sit through Pelosi though receiving her proud moment. yay. I love how they have to stand up and sit down every three seconds. I almost want to watch it on mute. Up. Down. Up. Down. Now thats amusing.

So
Studying is cranking
It's warm enough again to do my daily walk
and
I got the job I wanted, needed. I miss working with people, using what I have, what I can give. I find myself counselling my sister and her friends and anyone that will actually listen to me. te he he. I actually am going to be assisting the other therapists since I can't legally do direct practice, which is perfect. It will hopefully leave me with good brain space to study.
It's gonna be tough though.
I have to commute to Newark but I need some city action right now...the burbs is making this girl cranky.I am beginning to feel like a circus side show act here in good ol BC. I digress.... It's a good job, I miss the work. It's not my dream job but
it'll be good enough for me to do what I need to do for the next six months, (I am on a strict six month plan) pay some bills, save some money, get some skills, support me through (and pay for) my licensing for SW.
Great benefits, every tenth day off, all holidays too,
and it's with the State which are some of the most SW coveted jobs. Plus I miss my work, my practice, helping people, I really do. I am ready.

It's weird, I even tried not to get this job, I cancelled my first interview. First, because of a confusion around what I can do not being licensed, but also I think because I really wanted the Cornell job. Lets face it, that was my dream job. I am excited not to have to move to Ithaca in the dead of winter though. My sister and I are settling into a really supportive healthy life right now. I really know that this is one of the big things here I am meant to do. We are seeing each other through some tremendous growth, and we laugh all the frikin time. It's good.

The hard stuff:
I miss my friends. I miss my city. I am beginning to refer to her as my ex-girlfriend. I see pictures of her and my heart aches. I saw this Ghiradelli chocolate commercial tonight with this woman eating chocolate and gazing at the moon near the Golden Gate bridge and I thought I was gonna loose it. My three favorite things all in one big marketing tool. Bastards.

It's quiet. I am used to doing this or that or this person or that party or this event . Missing Mad Hats, Dahlia's third bday, my girls getting together. I had a four way conversation this weekend with my girls though and it is carrying me over. Celebrating some really important milestones in each others lives (; ) ). Finding ways to support each other all on our different paths. I need those girls like I need my skin. It's beautiful what we have seen each other through. Looking for a way to get out there soon for some lovin.

I am still content with everything despite all of the question marks you see written all over the page.It's coming together. It really is. Nothing is permanent. It was weird to cancel my city car share membership. My change of address form. But in a way it felt like I was actually committing to moving forward, making some hard decisions. Making any decision. Saying Yes. Saying yes. I know right now is about digging in and getting it done. I played hard for a long time. Time to continue to set the foundation.